The immaturity cycle: Expectations, rejections and more expectations.

Humans possess a thinking brain, but it is relatively new in its usage. On the other hand, the emotional brain has been in practice for billions of years, even before Homoerectus appeared on Earth about 2 million years ago. The purpose of this blog is to urge you to think, feel, and observe yourself just as I do.

The term “expectations” denotes a strong belief in something happening or being a certain way, while “rejection” refers to dismissing or refusing an idea or proposal. After my mother’s demise, I became more sensitive to others’ expectations and, subsequently, experienced more rejection. You might wonder why I am not taking any action. Let me assure you that I am doing something about it by writing my thoughts and feelings – something that psychologists recommend. However, emotions can be overwhelming and hinder progress, leading to the need to work harder. It’s a vicious cycle of rejection and expectation.

There are two vital questions to consider: how do we develop a strong belief and decide that an idea is not worth considering? Life teaches us, and we remember it through our bodies’ discomfort. When my mother was alive, she could sense my distress and always assisted me. I tend to distance myself when troubled; my mother would notice and ask me about it. I became accustomed to her reaction, which led me to be lazy. However, when she did not ask, I felt rejected and emotional, wanting her to make me feel better.

Now that she is no more, I worry about who will steady me. My expectations have shifted to my father. It’s been 28 days since her demise, and I talk to my father every day, discussing his well-being and my sister. However, I have not expressed my feelings about missing my mother. He would inquire about practical aspects of my life, while I expected him to understand my emotions. We were both missing the mark.

I decided to take action and asked my father how he was managing his loss while acknowledging that he was brave. In this way, I laid the foundation to express my emotions. I shared my feelings with him about missing my mother and being unable to move forward. He tried to reply practically, but my expectations clouded my thoughts. The conversation ended abruptly, and he had to go about his daily chores. It hit me that he had distanced himself, just as I did when troubled.

I realized that I was expecting my father to respond just like my mother did. But he is an individual and will handle the situation differently. The life lesson is that it is human nature to cling to what is dear to us and avoid rejection. However, in the end, nothing remains of us. We must work thoughtfully to let go of our immaturity and not hold on at every junction. It’s time to let go and move on. Expectations and rejections stay behind.

So, how do I work thoughtfully in this life? As we do in our Hindu religious ceremony, I keep chipping away at every aspect of my immaturity, offering it to the fire and letting it go. I remind myself not to hold on to it at every junction as it will end.