There are two kinds of cognition

There are two kinds of cognition: the rider’s (controlled process, such as reasoning why) and the elephant’s (automatic process, including emotions and intuition).
Jonathan Heidt. (The righteous mind)

I deal with the elephant every day. It follows me everywhere. I was born with it, which has been there for over 3.7 billion years. Oh! Wait, I meant the emotion that has the strength of the elephant.

Neuroscientist Jonathan Heidt makes a valuable analogy about the elephant and its rider. Dr Michael Kerr highlights beneficial points about Jonathan Heidt. They are listed below in point forms:

1. Automatic processes are good at running the human mind, as they have been running animals’ minds for 500 million years.
2. When human beings evolved the capacity for language and reasoning at some point in the last million years, the brain did not rewire itself to hand over the reign to the new charioteer. Instead, the rider evolved because it did something useful for the elephant.
3. The rider believed it could see further into the future, allowing for the examination of alternative scenarios in the head of the rider. The rider thought it could help the elephant make a better decision by fabricating a post hoc explanation for what the elephant had done and finding reasons to justify what it wanted to do next.
4. Language development allows for gossip- the rider functions as a PR firm. ( this hits the nail on the head).

For example, I got this text less than 24 hours before the appointment cancellation. “Hey Vinity, Delta got attacked in the face by a stray cat about 11 pm, and he’s not in a great state. We are going to the hospital later today as the bleeding has stopped, and we have disinfected it to check if he needs stitches, but he is not doing great. Is there any chance we can postpone or do whatever is possible, please?

What do I think? “It is an excuse not to come to the session.” What do I write based on my sessions with this couple and my rider and its elephant thinking? ” I hope the hospital visit went okay and he did not need stitches. Yes, we can postpone the session. I will revert with the next appointment available.” I have highlighted and written in bold because I don’t wish to revert.

For example, Text 2 hours before the session: “Hello, Vinity. I am very sorry, but I must cancel today’s appointment. I have an urgent work situation, and I need to go to a construction site in the city today.”

What do I think? “It is an excuse not to come to the session.” What do I write based on my sessions with this individual, my rider, and its elephant thinking?

“Hello David, You have one session left. Let me know when you are ready to book another.

The two examples got a different response, even though my thinking seems similar. How do I explain this difference? Is it because my rider could “examine the alternative scenarios in the head and thought it could help the elephant make a better decision by fabricating a post hoc explanation for what the elephant has done and finding reasons to justify what it wants to do next?

Or was it an anxious response because I am okay with upsetting one, not the other? Or was it “I can’t be responsible for your actions?” Many more ideas can be associated with my thinking.

Do I make excuses in my interactions with others? “YES”
Do I want to become responsible? “YES”.
What do I fear? “Others perception about me.”

The above questions I am asking myself still have the Elephant with the stronger hold than what the rider (me) believes.

I do engage a different charioteer. And I do that consistently with my Clinical Supervisor.

So, I ask the readers how they manage their elephants and whether they are ready to engage a different charioteer.